How Wiccan Parents Can Approach Our Faith's Foremost Tenet

by MS Beltran

Associated Content

The Wiccan rede consists of only eight words: 'An it harm none, do what ye will.

On the surface, it may seem pretty simplistic and self explanatory. In reality, it is not; it is a fairly complex moral philosophy that Wiccans embrace as a prime directive of sorts. No matter how much Wicca grows, changes, evolves and branches off as a religion, it is this one tenet that acts as a staple to bind our traditions together under the title of Wicca. If you are a Wiccan raising children, explore the rede with them in order to instill the complexities of our values.

The language of the rede is archaic, so it is easily confused. "'An" is often mistake with "and." Rather, "'an" is actually an archaic form of "if." "Will" meaning "desire," or "want," is another word that might confuse children. It might help to begin introducing the rede by putting into more modern language that they can understand: If it harms none, do what you desire.

Wiccans can get a lot of guff from faiths different from our own for the "do what you want" part of the rede. In many religions, doing what you desire is considered selfish. Many religions feel you should do what you're told, or what you're supposed to, or what would be for the benefit of others- not what you want. Wiccans are accused of a selfishness or recklessness for even insinuating such a thing.

Discuss with your child what they think about doing what they want, or desire. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Is there anything wrong with fulfilling yourself? Is doing what you want always a selfish act? After all, sometimes we want to help our family or other people in need, or clean up our environment.

By your child mulling over the idea that doing things for yourself is not necessarily an egocentric act, they won't have to feel offensive or ashamed of themselves if others criticize this part of the rede in front of them.

Does the rede mean we should always do what we want? Of course not. That's where the first part comes in- if it harms none.

Talk to your children about the "harm none" concept. What do they think "none" incorporates? Does it just mean people? Does it mean only living things? Does it mean everything- animal, vegetable and mineral?

Once considering exactly what "none" encompasses, discuss how a person can live with doing no harm at all. Is it even possible? After all, even when we blow our noses, we are killing a great deal of microscopic organisms. Does that mean, according to the rede, it's wrong to blow our noses?

This can bring up a good discussion about "the lesser of two evils" and how important it is for us to use wisdom in making choices. After all, most of are choices are between the lesser of two evils. If one of the choices we're offered is something wonderful, it's hardly a choice then, isn't it?

What if we have to protect ourselves or our family? Is the rede saying it's wrong to do this? What if someone tries to hit us. If we hit back, we can hurt them. But if we tell an adult, the hitting child might get into trouble and get punished. Is that causing harm to the hitting child? But if we don't tell on the hitting child, what if he hits someone else?

What about when our actions cause harm unintentionally? For example, when we forget to call a friend on his birthday and make him feel bad. Or taking the last candy bar, not knowing someone else had set it aside for themselves.

Your child will probably begin to wonder if it is possible to ever go through life without doing harm. This is good. They don't have to come to any conclusions right now.

Another question to explore is, if we are doing harm unintentionally or unavoidably sometimes, does that mean we are violating- or going against- the rede? Does it mean we are not a good Wiccan, or a good person, if we find out we've done harm?

Remember, the rede is a philosophy- it's meant to be explored and people have to come to their own conclusions about it. It's not necessary for your child to come to conclusions, but to play "devil's advocate" that will show them the complexity of the rede. This will get the child thinking.

As your child grows, and his mental processing ability and ability to think abstractly develops, you may wish to revisit the discussion again. By emphasize the importance of considering and weighing the responsibility of all his actions, and balancing that with having a happy and productive life by pursuing that which he desires, you will have done your job in introducing your child to the Wiccan rede.